Monday, February 22, 2010
Experiencing God in Pain and Suffering
In was Jesus who said, "If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority" [John 7:17, ESV; Emphasis mine].
On January 4th, 2010, we posted an article by apologist Dr. Frank Turek that dealt with a young couple, Neil and Anna, who had just lost their newborn baby.
One of our readers, after finishing the article, wrote the following in reflection: [Note: I received permission by the writer to share this in a post]
"I read Neil and Anna's story last night, and I have been reflecting on it quite a lot. I have lost a child through a miscarriage, and although the baby did not survive to term, I did had the opportunity to see the heart beating at two separate ultrasounds. When you see that on the screen, it becomes very real to you that there is a little child living in your womb.
When I had my first ultrasound, a song kept going through my head called "Blessed be Your Name". When it became apparent that something was wrong in my pregnancy, and I was at the hospital having the ultrasound that essentially revealed that the placenta was collapsing on itself, and that the baby had died, the same song was playing in my head. The words of the song that rang so true both times was "You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name" . Other parts of the song came to mind as well like "Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise, when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, blessed be the Name of the Lord." Well, on that day, the darkness was closing in, and it was one of the most painful experiences that I have ever experienced aside from Godly sorrow that led me to repentance (2 Cor 7:9) - which happened not long after the miscarriage.
During that time, I was not able to readily reason as Neil and Anna were able to do. I had not yet been introduced to the study of apologetics. However, I did understand one of the points that they had mentioned which was that the child was not ours. I realized that God created the child in my womb, and that the child in my womb ultimately belonged to Him. I was just a steward of what He had given me.
I struggled for answers, and I was very grieved. But, I never lost the Hope that is found only in Him. I searched out His word for answers, as well as other Christian authors who wrote about the loss of children. I recall one book entitled, "I'll See You in Heaven" which referred to the loss of King David's child which reminded me that the child that was in my womb had an eternal soul. I was comforted by the words of King David who said of his newborn son who had died, " I'll go to him, but he will never return to me." (2Sam12;23).
Looking back on my miscarriage that occurred a little over 5 years ago, I see that God was always there, in good times and during the dark times. His Truth endures forever (Psalm 100:5 KJV) . The experience of the miscarriage left me broken, humble, and with loss of control of my life. That was the point where I could start to grow in His grace. At that point, God revealed to me strongholds of sin in my life that had never been dealt with. After a dry period, He produced in me Godly sorrow which led to true repentance, and a dependence on Him. The revelation of the true wickedness in my heart led me to truly put away anything else that I was relying on for salvation but Jesus Christ alone and His finished work on the cross.
In summary, I guess that what I am saying is that God's Word is true. We can rely on Him completely. Even when things happen in our lives that hurt, He is there always (Hebrews 13:5). We can stand on His truth, even when our emotions are telling us something completely different. He can use the hardships and trials in our life for His glory and good.
In closing, I would like to include a few verses that have brought me comfort and joy during previous trials in my life.
Isaiah 43:2, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 51:17, Psalm 147:3, Romans 8:38-39 Romans 8:28, Hebrews 13:5(b), Matthew 28:20(b)
Then, she followed these comments as follows:
I would be remiss if I didn't also mention the wonderful support that I had from my sisters in Christ during that difficult time. They sent cards, showed me much love, and shared in my sorrow. Several women shared of similar heartbreaks that they had experienced. Besides seeking God and His word for answers and reading Christian authors on the subject, I also sought out mature Christian women to help me during this time.
I would also like to mention that on the day of the miscarriage, I was at work. One of my co-workers, who was also a sister in Christ, immediately stopped what she was doing and took me straight to the hospital. She held my hand, so to speak, during the hospital visit, ultrasound, and subsequent trip to my doctor's office. She stayed with me faithfully until my husband was able to join me. Besides the tangible things that the body of Christ did for our family, I know that there were also many prayers lifted up for us during that time. My husband also tried to comfort me, but ultimately it was God who I needed, and it was ultimately God who would heal my pain."
We many times ask, "Why God?" I am well aware that we will never fully know, nor be able to comprehend, all the reasons that God allows suffering in our lives; however, I take comfort in testimonies such as the one above, especially when one considers that, "...we know that for those who love God all things work together for good" [Romans 8:28].
It was C.S. Lewis who once penned the following words: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
God used this heart-breaking situation to "shout" to this young lady and she is currently reaching others with the life saving message of Jesus Christ.
Many thanks to Anonymous for allowing us to share this powerful testimony.
Courage and Godspeed,